It’s okay to guard your kids and protect them from harm from birth to 18 years old. But once your child turns 18 it is time to let them go. I have studied children that are the VICTIMS of overprotective mothers. Having an overprotective mother is form of child abuse. Usually the mother controls every aspect of the child well into his adult life.
This is caused by the mothers inability to overcome some sort of heartbreak in the past. They feel if that they make their child feel dependent on them that their adult child will not leave them.
When I was a child, I used to see this in a few of the parents of the kids that I was friends with. When I searched to see where they are now, I discovered that most of them were in jail or had some kind of crime that involved drugs. That led to the conclusion that overprotective mothers were so controlling of their child that when the child got some sense of freedom they had no social skills and therefore acted in a way that was not socially acceptable. Because of this, many of these children used drugs to change their state. Others had no way of functioning in society and then actually ended up hating their mothers for being bad mothers.
The only advice I can give to mothers that are way too overprotective is that you are doing more harm to your child than good. If you want your child to function in society, then you have to teach your child the skills it will take to survive in the real world.
If you know of an adult who is the victim of an over-protective or controlling mother there is help out there.
- Only-children ‘more likely to be overweight’, says study (telegraph.co.uk)