A little Tom Guard humor.
Ok, so a friend of mine was roller skating and fell on her tailbone. She bruised it up pretty bad. The tailbone is also called a coccyx. Pretty funny name for a bone. It’s pronounced “cock-sicks.”
As humans, we don’t realize the importance of our coccyx or ass-bone. If such an injury should occur, there are limitation to what one can do while they heal.
Here are some of these limitations:
No sitting – unless you use a doughnut, but don’t head to Dunkin Donuts just yet.
Don’t push out farts.
Don’t pick your wedgies.
No cha-cha slide or hokey pokey.
Don’t use a hula-hoop.
No intercourse of course and you can’t ride a horse (I sound like Dr. Seuss.)
No bull riding.
Stay away from bar stools.
Speaking of stool…how the heck do you poop with a busted tailbone?
No spanking or any of that other funny stuff.
Stay off the unicycle.
Pilates is out of the question.
No bumping and grinding to Snoop Dog.
When the song says “Back dat ass up” you better just freeze.
Stay off the fucking skates that got you there in the first place.